Having just finished my readings for the Teach for America institute, which starts on June 25th, I finally got around to checking my email. Upon doing so, I found this tangentially-related gem:

In response to President Bush”s Federal “No Child Left Behind Act”
(NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be
promoted to the next grade level. In the hope that this proposal will be
uniformly adopted by all of the states as well as Texas, the new test
will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test, or FART.

All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be
re-tested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing with a
minimum FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by
grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English program
known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language, or SMELL.

If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the
required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by
taking another a one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and
Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP.

If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she
can earn a promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the
Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students, or
PRUNES. It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public
Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student
to FART, SMELL, or CRAP.

This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101
should help “clear the air” as part of the “No School Left Standing”
Act.