5/31/2005 04:33:27 PM|||Jonthon|||

    My friend Cory called me today.  He has really bad poison sumac, and has broken out so badly that he is headed to the doctor.  He hopes to be given some steroids.  When he told me this, I said, “then you’ll be strong enough to rip the head off a bear!” (Yes, I know that he wasn’t talking about anabolic steroids.)  He responded that he still wouldn’t be able to rip the head off of a koala.  I begged to differ, and he said it wouldn’t matter.
     I suppose I should make note of the koala reference...Cory told me last week that koalas have fingerprints that, interestingly enough, are very similar to those of humans, particularly of children.  He then told me of his dubious plan:  he will train koalas to steal, and to bring to him things that he enjoys.  The police will look for children who do not exist!  There are a few obvious logistical kinks, but once Cory gets this off the ground, he has promised to buy me a car.
     So anyway, back to the steroids, and ripping animals’ heads off.  Cory felt confident that even if he could rip the head off of a koala, it would not die, and thus would remain capable of theft.  At this point, I noted that the world would be a different place if it were filled with -headless, deceptive koalas.-

     Did you know that koalas sleep 23 hours a day, and are extremely aggressive in the one hour they are awake?  Also, Eucalyptus leaves, when chewed, effect the chewer much as does marijuana when smoked.  So Koalas get high all day and sleep!  If they didn’t, they would be running around violently attacking people and, if Cory had his way, stealing things.  Even if they didn’t have heads.

|||111757520717662474|||Headless Deceptive Koalas, everywhere...